I’m Falling Into A Routine And I Think I Like It

So here we go again. It is exactly one week since I blogged last. I definitely promised myself that I would try to blog twice this week. I don’t even think I was that busy… just lazy. Watching Gilmore Girls seemed more intriguing than writing I guess. Yep, you’re right, that’s something I need to work on.

There are a few things I noticed this week actually that I think are worth blogging about. Have you ever gotten into a routine? Even if it’s on accident. But just because it’s on accident doesn’t mean it has to be a bad thing.

As of now, I accidentally stumbled into this grocery shop, meal prep, blog and Netflix routine on Sundays. It’s not such a bad thing. But here is what I noticed about routines… sometimes we get so caught up in the routine that we don’t take the time to notice what’s actually going on in the world.

I was sitting I my favorite place, Starbucks, reading a book about human trafficking. The guy who took my order seemed to be in another world and the barista took a very long time to make my skinny vanilla iced latte. The girl in line behind me was wearing leggings and a long sleeved t-shirt with her hair tied back in a messy ponytail. She looked like she had just left the gym or something. Definitely a college student.

I sat down at one of the “comfy” chairs and pulled out my book. Two kids came in and sat at the two comfy chairs closest to the window to the parking lot. The younger one took his coat off and sat back in the seat while the other one stared out the window waiting for someone. Sooner than later a gentleman with long hair in a ponytail walked in and the kids ran to him. He went to the counter to order and while he was waiting he peeked behind the corner at me and the other chairs.

I think he saw the title of my book  (“Domestic Minor Sex Trafficking”) and sat far from adult-black-and-white-body-271418where the kids could see it. I put the book down in my lap just in case. Then, a middle-aged man came in very swiftly and went directly to the outlet next to me. He plugged in his phone and went to order. Ten minutes later he came back with a breakfast sandwich and a coffee and gobbled it up as quick as he could. He sat there scrolling through his phone for a moment and then hurried up and gathered his phone charger and left.

On my way out a gentleman held the door open for me. We awkwardly headed in the same direction in the parking lot. But what made it more awkward was that he stopped at a car with the driver door wide open and said “oh sorry, this is me.” I didn’t know if he had left it open on purpose or not, so I chuckled and said, “it happens,” and went straight to my car. Poor guy was probably embarrassed.

Do these people know though? Do they know of the injustice of trafficking taking place across the globe and even in our own backyard? Do they know Jesus?

I mean, this isn’t an “it happens” kind of thing. But I’m afraid to think that those who are caught up in their routines actually believe that. Or maybe they are in denial that this kind of thing happens here in their own backyard.

It’s so heartbreaking to see that people go about their daily lives and don’t know these things.

I guess I am feeling convicted in getting caught up in a routine because I don’t ever want to be unaware of injustices happening. I want to be aware so that I can pray and do my part as a social worker/follower of Christ in spreading the Good News that even though these injustices are happening, there is still a GOOD GOD that cares deeply for victims and you and me.

Maybe this means that instead of saying “it happens” I should mention something about an injustice happening. Like, “hey did you hear about the latest statistics on human trafficking in Ohio?” OR “do you know the facts about Refugees?”

These are things I am passionate about. These are things Jesus is passionate about.

I like the way the Psalmist puts it in Psalms 9.7, “But the Lord sits enthroned forever; he has established his throne for justice.” 

Jesus sits on the throne forever. He has establised it for justice. I also love the way the big man Himself puts it in Luke 4.18-19 when He is rejected at Nazareth.

The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives
and recovering of sight to the blind,
to set at liberty those who are oppressed,
to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.

Yes, yes, yes, and even more yes!!! Thank you Jesus for paving the way in being passionate about social injustices!

So with all of that being said, I think something I want to personally work on, and something I would challenge you to personally work on, is sharing the heart of Jesus about injustices with complete strangers.

Instead of just having a small talk conversation about buying goat cheese and mini muffins with the person behind you at the grocery store and then leaving in the abyss of people and going off into your own separate life, maybe talk about how some people don’t even have access to mini muffins, or even deeper, how some families cannot afford it and therefore they sell their children in various ways to make quick cash.

Jesus does not call us to be silent. Join me in this challenge, friend.

Love Sundays

Recently, as in like three weeks ago, I moved out of my parent’s house and into my first apartment (or duplex/triplex if you will). I have a housemate that I share the place with, but other than that, I am completely out on my own!

I moved about an hour south from my little hometown because I got a new job. Basically my dream job to be exact. The Lord was gracious to me to open the doors to working for an agency called Rahab Ministries that seeks to provide safe housing and pour truth and love into survivors of human trafficking.

Since the move I have been enduring the rigorous training hours until we jump into our shift rotations. I am quite excited. However, moving an hour away and on my own for the first time has been quite the transition.

I am learning things like cooking for one person, how to budget to make sure I can still get my weekly Starbucks, and taking care of my home (like taking out the trash and cleaning the toilet). I love it.

Sundays have been my dedicated grocery shopping and usually whipping something up in the kitchen day with a little side of herbal tea and good old Netflix.

Unfortunately though, any grocery store you go to on a Sunday is surely going to be packed and loaded with everyone and their mother. Like today, I could barely find a single parking spot at Aldi!

And let me tell ya, sometimes it’s hard to have patience for the people who just stand directly in front of the freezer doors deciding what kind of veggie burger they want for the week. Okay, so that was me today. BUT it was my first time buying it! And I left my cart out of the way. I was quick.

There were a few other people who staggered and I had to sneak past them (yep, the midwesterner ‘sneak’) to get some frozen brussel sprouts, but hey what are ya gonna do. And sometimes, Aldi doesn’t always have exactly what I need. So I am stuck going to Walmart or Giant Eagle to get fresh basil or to buy individual lemons, instead of a three pound pack.

Today was one of those days. Aldi was so crowded I thought I was going to lose my mind. I also needed a cookie sheet and of course they had everything but that. So I proceeded to head to good old Wally World to finish my shopping. I fear this place because there is always the chance of me buying something I don’t need. Today it was a new wooden spoon. But hey, it was only $2.

I guess it was my lucky trip to Walmart because despite my inner groanings at the people who wouldn’t get out of way may so I could get a package of basil leaves and rude remarks inside my car at the people who wouldn’t drive on their side of the lane, I didn’t have to wait in line at the self-checkout.

I definitely thought I was in a grumpy mood. However, I was able to contain that grumpiness to myself. At this particular Walmart they scan your receipt and then an item in your bag to make sure you truly paid for them. I walked up to the guy who had the scan gun in his hand and showed him my receipt.

I simply said, “do you need to see this or scan it?” and he just kind of looked at me like I was kind of crazy. Then he said, “wow, I’m sorry I didn’t know how to take that because it was the most polite thing I heard all day.”

First, I guess I can see how asking people to double-check their receipts to make sure they didn’t steal anything can kind of step on your pride a bit. Second, I didn’t even realize that I was being that polite, which is super sad if the man was THAT surprised.

It reminded me that people are always watching us. Sure, that guy had no idea of knowing that I am a Christian, but still, people are watching our actions and deciding if we are a good egg, bad egg, or somewhere in between with the first attitude we present them with.

It is so important for us to be on our guard and paying attention to how we carry ourselves. As followers of Christ, we are called to a higher standard. We are called to love everyone who is put in our path, whether they stole our parking spot or served our burger with tomato when we asked them not to.

This is something I struggle with a lot. Somehow I have this preconceived notion that I deserve everything to be perfect and my way. It’s like the whole “customer is always right” mentality applies to every aspect of my life.

I hope that even in the second of my grumpiness where I mustered up a polite question I was able to make that Walmart worker’s day.

Let’s all try to work a little harder at paying attention to how we react to people. If we ever want to draw unbelievers to the Kingdom of God, paying attention to our attitudes and actions is one of the most important things we can do.

Not-So Knew Year

So here we are. Officially 20 days into 2019. I would like to think that I jumped into this new year like a kid jumping into a pile of leaves, excited and happy to be doing it. But I actually feel more like I did when I was a teenager and my older cousin pushed me into the freezing cold pool when I wasn’t quite ready to get in yet.

It’s not that I wasn’t ready to let 2018 go, but there were so many things that happened this past year that I just don’t know how to begin to process. Unfortunately, it’s things that I can’t even write about to process. I need time. But 2019 just came barging in like a rude neighbor ready to become friends and get to know each other over a burnt casserole.

Thus, either I respond respectfully to the efforts of making friendship with the new year, or I live here being stuck up because the casserole was burnt and a neighbor that most definitely won’t move.

You know how everyone is always like “new year, new me,” or always talking about how excited they are for the things to come in the new year? Well, here’s my argument, what if I don’t want a “new me,” but would rather have a slightly better, more composed, graceful, sweeter me? Okay so I won’t dream too much about being graceful…

Also, what happens when you don’t really know what is to come in the new year and you’re just settling in that pit of anxiousness? I’m not talking about the anxiousness you get when you’re on a roller coaster, no because I quite enjoy those and that adrenaline rush. I’m talking the full-blown, feeling of what-the-heck-am-I-going-to-do-this-year?

Maybe it’s a new form of anticipation I should be welcoming in, but maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s my fears of not knowing that are causing me to not be ready for this new year. When I think to my past, all the new years that I have lived through, yep, all 22 of them, I always knew what to expect.

2018 was a painfully good year for me. I say that because I lived most of the year in a country I loved, but the fact that I’m not living there now hurts. I got into a relationship where I learned that I needed to let go and move on for my own good. I graduated from college, got a full-time job, started my master’s degree, and purchased my first car.

A lot of it was bitter sweet, but I let my heart get so attached to it. The kind of attached a child gets to a toy or blanket. When I was kid I had this Teletubbie pillow and Winnie the Pooh blanket and I would not go anywhere without those things! that’s how I feel about 2018.

The memories, the goals achieved, the future plans that didn’t work out, they are all things that I don’t want to go anywhere without, including 2019. I guess I’m that child that still has the baby blankey at the first sleepover when everyone else matured out of that stage.

If you can relate in any way, shape, or form, I just want to tell you that it’s okay. In this day and age there is so much pressure to have everything figured out. But let me be the first to tell you that it’s okay to not.

If you’ve known me for any period of time, you know that this is so unlike me. You know that I usually have a five year plan marked with specific dates and all. But not this time. Sure, I have options and general ideas of what I want to do, or what God has planned for me, but nothing set in stone.

While at first this was a very freeing thing for me, it has started to consume me. It’s like it’s taking up my time because I’m trying so hard to figure out what I’m supposed to do this year that I forget about the things I am already doing.

Fortunately, Jesus reminds me that it’s okay to not know what’s next, but that He is guiding me every step of the way. Maybe I’m not supposed to know exactly what’s in store for this year, but I least I can know for a fact that there is something great and exciting waiting for me. I only have to trust God on His timing.

I believe this for you too. So, my fellow blog reader, we might be 20 days late and a few dollars short, but let’s jump into 2019 with the expectation that God has something beautiful for us and we don’t have to know what it is.